Miserably Succeed

Reading time: 2 – 4 minutes

Every win is a hard fought win and just like a boxer all beat up he’s more glad it’s over than holding the damn belt! Day after day, month after month, year after year I am trying to make deals. I lose way more than I ever win but, since I don’t have a choice but to keep going I usually succeed. It’s not like I can turn around and find another way because I already checked everything out and decided this was the way. Even my own mother calls it the rolleroaster as somedays I am up and others I am down but sooner or later I get to the end of the journey.

To say it’s frustrating would be a understatement. Countless people around me tell me to change, be more flexible, stop being stubborn or just plain quit. But, I know what I see and what I see is the empire and every step is important. Every step sets up the next step and my numbers have to match up. If they don’t match then I will come up short on something else that will be pursued with the same laser focused determination. I know this to be true from past experiences where I gave in to what others thought about a situation that only I can see. Their reasons for giving in or giving up sure as hell aren’t mine and although I listen I usually have to explain my angle even more. Sure sometimes they are right but I usually learn they are right when I get it anyway but probably the long way.

It’s a tough game to be in a fight all of your life. Some people can’t take the blows and they immediately get out of the ring. For me, I guess I’m the bloody boxer who is too stupid to  just go down. I’ve done too much and hung in there when others didn’t and came out with victory after victory. I went against the grain when the majority of people were calling me crazy for not participating. I’ve been thought of as stupid one year and asked for advice by the same people the next. Redemption has always been around the corner and I’ve been lucky enough to get around that corner.

All the shit that leads to success is rough. From others criticizing you, you losing out on deals, you going it alone, ‘you not being understood and you battling your own demons of walking in the dark. No matter how many times I look for a brighter path to success I always end up back on this road. I know I’m going to make it but it’s a miserable success. Not the kind you see on movies where everything is sunny and happy. No it’s the kind where you go home and wait for the black eye to go away!

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