Customer Service
Reading time: 3 – 5 minutes
Those who don’t understand Money think they are entitled to it while those who earn it try to make sure it’s not needed. The nerve of people to think when they give a business 5 bucks somehow that entitles them to prompt service. If someone gave you 5 bucks and told you to run and get a paper and come right back would you do it? Hell NO so why would you expect people to make you happy or refill your drink in 2 minutes when you are leaving $2.46 on a damn tip. Customer Service is a CON a businessman wrote in a book for his employees and then the media ran with it and now the average person on the street think they deserve it.
The Customer is always right in his f*cking dreams but not in reality. The whole game in business is receiving money and what part of making money is accommodating a person who is unhappy. A Unhappy person probably won’t come back to your business, probably won’t tip your employees and probably will tell his/her friends to not come back to you. So F*ck them all is what I say get them the hell out of your business and out of your face so you can focus on the people who pay! I know that’s cold but You & I being in business is about turnover of CHIP$ not making sure someone who is backed up internally gets a release!
The impression of Customer Service is really what we are after. The CON of making people feel like you love them for 3 dollars profit is the Hustle! Whenever you look online and people have reviews for hotels or restaurants or your favorite pair of underwear all that is doing is giving the powerless the impression of power. You aren’t going to change your menu for a couple of dumbasses are you? All this leave suggestion stuff is a hustle to diffuse the JackAss so he feels the management will change things. Sure people read all the suggestions especially if they are complaining about a certain person as if you keep them employed they are messing up your money. But let’s make sure you as the owner, the chip maker aka the cat that makes deposit doesn’t get caught up with Customer Service.
The businessman definition of Customer Service can be summed up with “If you run a good ship you should make chips” I mean that to say if you got your game or your service or your employees trained and your products delivered ontime then you’ll deliver on Customer Service. Think back to all the time someone complains and about 99% of it comes down to mistakes in speed or mistakes in delivery of the product. These two things all can be corrected by the businessman and no one else.
So when you see someone complaining about Customer Service understand they have swallowed the CON. If you are in business tip the employees for paying attention to you like a slave for 3 bucks! Once you understand money then you’ll understand Customer Service is when someone is running a tight ship. Not because people say Hi, not because Wal-Mart has a greeter, not because the waiter gave you Sprite when you wanted it , because all that is what is supposed to happen. Concentrate on deliverying your product in all it’s facets and you won’t worry about what the public says.
People with money respect the process and admire someone able to sustain quality and fulfillment over a long period of time. People without money respect the product and have expectations of 3 dollar slavery. It’s alright that they expect it but you shouldn’t!
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Customer service is a figment of my imagination! This is my first time responding but you think differently than most people I ever read in my life. It’s interesting, funny, insightful and thought provoking all at the same time.
True customer service is simply giving your customers realistic expectations. Let’s take the inner city stores ran by immigrants not from the community or country:
They put up a big sign that says “NO REFUND OR EXCHANGES” to let the customer know once they buy it, they stuck with it. They markup the price of stuff 30%-40% and do not lie to you about their price and markup. They have bullet proof glass in the store where they just take your cash and put your product through a slot to receive.
Yeah, that sounds crappy but guess what? People shop there because they know what to expect and the rules. Many business screw up because they start up trying to undercut the existing business by offering lower price or some crazy customer service request that eats their profit margins. But what I’ve learned is the reason most business stay in business is because they make the customer clear of their expectation.
I know what to expect when I go to McDonald’s and don’t expect nothing more than a factory line burger. I know what to expect when I go to Fedex, next day delivery of my package.
You are spot on because these companies I mention give their customers the expectation of utility and that’s the reality of customer service.
Excuse my language but… fuck that! lol I want to be treated like my dolla is worth something because I had to work for it.
Why shouldn’t they?
@London – Welcome and thanks for the compliment. Yes, customer service is a figment of your imagination as your dollar is appreciated but not important. The goal of all business is turnover of product so if you’re in a restaurant it’s getting you the hell out of the chair so someone else can sit there.
It’s cold when you think about it but then you’ll know that what you think is customer service is just a well run ship!
@Ed – Yep clear expectations to me is a well run ship. Fedex and McD’s operate from the same basic principle and that is to get you your product as fast as possible. Only when you go to a restaurant and they mix the service with the product do you feel a need to complain.
That’s why I said it was something a boss said to their employees that got out. It’s a business strategy not real customer service. Walmart has a greeter so you feel acknowledged and so you can come out of your pockets easier. I bet you they had a study to say when people are acknowledged people spend 2.2 more 3.5 faster. No one is doing this stuff to make people happy it’s just to make money. So the whole thing is a illusion, a CON, a Hustle!
@Keish – But would you be happy if someone gave you $2.46 for bringing their brats soda every 5 minutes? NO so it’s only your selfishness that says my 2.46 is worth more than you giving me 2.46.
It’s alright that’s the business job to make you feel that way so you can say they are a good company or restaurant. But in reality all they are doing is trying to get you to eat fast and get the hell out. Afterall they are still selling products.
I bet some cat thinking the free drinks at the casino is not customer service!?
i can see where you coming from and, come to think of it, i always did need a pat on the damn back. smh….i’ve just been enlightened. lol thanks!
@Ed – Hey if the drinks get you buttered up to gamble and the customer think it’s a perk well mission accomplished!
This is why I love talking about money because once you see the angles its amazing and worth standing up and clapping for some people who got the game down cold.
@Keish – Don’t sweat it that’s why I write these posts so we I wake up and shake up your normal way of thinking. Now when you see it coming you can laugh inside at how these cats will do anything to take money out of your pocket. Even sit there and act like they really love you.
I disagree as Customer Service is a whole field now and people take classes to deliver proper customer service. I don’t know if you are speaking from a business point of view so Customer service is a means to an end.
To make sure people’s needs are met is not a fallacy at all.
By the way great post and great blog.
Well even if it’s a whole field it’s still related to the bottom line of business getting you to give them money. It’s like it’s a field on being nice and cordial then I would say yeah it’s unrelated to business.
Like I said if you are just a nice person and you like doing it then it’s not customer service at all. If it’s done only to make people feel comfortable when dining, when entertaining and when it’s related to money then let’s call it what it really is.
Thanks and Oh yeah Welcome! You came out swinging so I had to respond in kind.
I have to disagree on this one. Customer service is the only real unique aspect a business can have. Prices can always be dropped by competitors and all products get outdated and improve. I’m sure you’ll go to some restaurants over others, even if they’re cheaper, because the service you get it better.
Well I disagree! LOL – What makes you choose a restaurant first and foremost is food and what are there offerings. Second, you choose location as you might want to be in a more festive area. Third, unless they are atrocious you may choose customer service.
But, it’s already assumed you are going to get decent service just by walking in there. But, cmon if Avis cost more but has customer service you would go to Enterprise rent a car.
I go to some restaurants because of what I want to eat that night. I don’t count customer service because I don’t like to be bothered at all as I didn’t come there to see and speak to them.